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Monday, September 18, 2006

how to dance your ass off: a practical, how-to guide

this post should have gone live when i had a break at 12:30 today, but ezarchive was not being cooperative...
1) find a wide variety of music to listen to, at least 2-3 different genres should be represented. this enables you to not get bored, and also appeals to the largest audience. sometimes it is better to have a vague idea about how to proceed with this step before moving on to step 2. your mileage may vary.
2) locate large quantities of alcohol, but be sure to a) know where to draw your stupid line and b) pace yourself. it's no fun to be so drunk you can't function (and your moves will suffer accordingly) and also, if you get drunk faster than everyone else, you can be certain they are mocking your big move that in your mind, looks like it came straight from a video. please note that this does not include ironic dance moves, as pulling out the electric slide will always have it's time and place.
3) space. find some. no one wants a dance party that is all elbows and eyes, it doesn't end well for anyone, and usually won't last all that long.
4) try not to have any of your scrapper friends show up. fist fights are not conducive to the sort of dance party we're talking about here. although the argument can be made for the inclusion of these friends for other types of dance parties.
5) try to have at least one girl who will at some point, raise her beer over her head and yell "WOOOOOO". a note of caution however, too many of these girls, and the party will go downhill fast, and likely end as a cross between a strip tease and body shots competition.
6) try these songs on for size:

bloc party - helicopter (breakneck mix)
justin timberlake (feat clipse) - sexyback
the sounds - painted by numbers
scissor sisters - paul mccartney